This is a story of two guys that grew up together from childhood. They are more like brothers than friends, and they are now in their thirties. Chip is 31 and still hasn’t gotten married, and Robert, who goes by Rob, is 32 and married. They both attend the same full gospel church and play on the church’s four years and running Baseball team. They are the Ambassadors and are in a hot competition to hold on to their title over the last two years against the Commanders. It is time for the game and serious as ever, but Rob is worried because Chip bailed on the last two practices. Rob knows his head is not in the game because of his girlfriend Cindy he met online. He says he is madly in love with, but we know she not a Christian and things have been pretty rough since our last conversation.
Rob: Hey, Chip, I am so glad to see you showed up, but where were you for the last two practices? You know that we are fighting like dogs to hold on to our title and bragging rights.
Chip: Yea! I know, but I’ve been a little down.
Rob: Oh gee! I am afraid to ask, but what’s up?
Chip: You know Cindy and I have been going out now for the last 3 months, and I have been trying to get her to go to church with me. But she keeps saying, “Okay, someday.”, and I have called her the last two Fridays to plan a date; but she said she couldn’t go, and she was quite cool about it. She said to call her next week. I said, “Okay”, and hung up. My heart just hurts because I thought she really loved me. She said she did. I tried to make her happy by giving into her, and doing what she wants to do.
Rob: Well that is your first mistake!
Chip: what do you mean?
Rob: Well, to begin with, has anything sunk into your head over the years you listened to Pastor Mike preach on God’s Love: what it is, and what His love looks like? From what I hear coming out of your mouth, it doesn’t sound anything like God’s true love. And what about your feelings, Chip, and what you want in the relationship? Remember, relationship in God’s Love is about giving and sacrifice from both sides.
Chip: Well I just figured that I would keep her happy until we get married, and then I’ll insist on my own way.
Rob: Oh, I know that is going to happen… Are you delusional Chip! That will last about a week.
Chip: Anyways, I called her on Wednesday to make plans for us this Friday, and she said she couldn’t go. When I asked why, she just said, “I have other plans.”
After he explained, tears came to his eyes.
Chip: I really love this girl, and I thought she really loved me; but I am feeling a bit worried right now.
Rob: The question is, “Do you know what Love really is?”
Chip: What…?
Rob: I will explain later, ok; but now it’s time to get your head in the game. Put on your game face. You know, fight the good fight!
Rob laughed at his own remark.
Rob: We can go grab a bite afterwards, and I promise I’ll be all ears.
Chip: Ok!
Rob: Shake it off, Chip; and let’s go win this next title.
Chip: Right, Let go show the Commanders who’s boss.
Rob was thinking, “Oh yea, show them whose boss Chip, when you can’t even stand up to this girl and tell her what you’re feeling.” Oh gosh, Chip’s troubles have gotten into my head too. Rob shook his head as if to empty it.
After a little pep talk with their coach Jeff, the team was fired up. Even Chip showed a little more enthusiasm. The game was fiercer than ever before, Rob saying to his self, “What did these Commanders do, hire a professional coach? Even there batter’s stand was confident, and they deliberately kept their eyes on the ball. They didn’t even acknowledge us half the time. Didn’t they know they were playing the champs? It was as if they were alone, and the coach kept saying, ‘You are the winners.’ ‘You can’t be defeated.’” What! Has that coach looked at the last two years stats? We are the Champs. You know, the Winners. But, oh, we have Chip whose head is not in the game, and he is up to bat.
Rob: Come on Chip! Let’s put this game away!
Chip: I got your back Rob!
Chip took his stand, bat in hand, and swung at the first ball. It wasn’t even close to his comfort zone.
Rob: Shake it off Chip! Concentrate!!!!
Next ball he swung again. “Wow! What was that?” said Chip, talking to himself. I never miss two in row, he thought. Then the Commanders’ coach called for a new pitcher. “What’s going on now!?” Chip thought. Rob stood up and screamed at Chip, “You better wake up!”
Next ball the pitcher threw was a fast ball, and Rob could hear the wind it created sitting in the dugout. Chip swung and hit the next ball, and it went straight up and came right down in the pitcher’s hand, and he quickly threw it to second base. “Out!” screamed the umpire.
Chip passed Rob on his way to the dugout.
Chip: That pitcher is a tough one!
Rob: What were you aiming for, the moon!?
Rob was up next. And by the scowl on his face, Chip knew he was totally upset and already blaming him if they lost the game.
Chip: Keep your eye on the ball, Rob!
Rob: Yes Chip! I got it!
At the same time Rob began to hear all the recent teachings of love popping up from his spirit that pastor had shared in the special meetings he had been attending. He heard “Remember to walk in love.” Still fighting with his emotions, he knew he couldn’t afford to become negative, not right now. “Lord, what do I do?” he asked. All of the sudden it came to him to stop the game! He called Jeff, his coach over to have a chat hoping this would knock them off their game for a minute. The pitcher, Brad, had a look of disgust on his face. He knew what Rob was doing, and Rob heard his coach shout, “Stay focused, Brad.”
Jeff: What’s on your mind Rob?
Announcer: Looks like a change is being made, but will the changes be enough for the Ambassadors to take the lead back?
Rob: I thought delaying this game for minute would knock them off their rhythm because they are playing like a different team.
Jeff: Not likely, Rob. I heard they talked James Booker, a former professional coach that is attending their church, to train them this season.
Rob: I knew it! I knew it. They seemed like a different team, sharper and more focused.
Jeff: Yep, Rob! But you need to remind yourself that there is still a winner in you and lead your team to victory. Stay in Love and God will honor you. This is my suggestion to you Rob; I have seen you hit the ball with both your left and your right hand so just switch sides and force the pitcher to adjust.
Rob: Of course!! Ok, here we go!
Rob switched sides and then Brad called his coach over to tell him that he wasn’t good at pitching on the other side and to put Ken, the other pitcher, in. James Booker replied “Ok. I really think you can do this, but it might be the distraction we need right now.” James waved Ken back in and immediately the fans for the Commanders roared with glee. The fans knew Ken was left and right handed also, and he could pitch to both with ease.
Rob: Oh boy! This game is getting more concerning all the time, but I am going to give it my best shot.
The announcer had everyone on their feet. We are in the top of the 9th inning he shouted and will all these adjustments keep the Commanders in the lead or will they fold under pressure? The Commanders took the lead in the bottom of the 8th, and the question remains to be answered, “Do the Commanders have enough steam to beat the Ambassadors this year?”
While Rob was waiting for Ken to take possession of the pitcher’s mound, he started practicing a couple of left handed swings; and at the same time telling himself, “You got this Rob, stay focused.”
Ken took the mound and threw a couple of warm-ups to the catcher.
Announcer: The crowd is still on their feet and shouting “Go Commanders, Go! Go Commanders, Go!”
“Time is up!” called out the umpire, “Let’s get going!”
Announcer: Ok, let’s see what comes out these changes. Will the Ambassadors take the lead or will the Commanders win the championship? How is this game going to end?
At that moment, Chip shouted, “Victory for the Ambassadors, that how it going to end”! Rob heard his gesture and said “You got that right!”
Ken: Not today boys, not on my watch!
Rob thought, “Lord help me, I want to punch Ken in the nose.” He took his stand with his chest puffed out and, focusing as much as he could, he studied Ken’s position. Would he pitch low, or high? It looked like he was going to send the first one right over the plate. He could see the out fielders spreading out and expanding their distance. “Ok!” he thought, “I am going to send this ball right in the middle of the bare hole they left in center field. Hopefully, this will send them scramming to retrieve the ball. Here it comes!”
Bam! It did just what Rob thought. The ball came right over the plate, and he hit it right into center field.
Announcer: Wow! That is all I can say! The outfielders were spread out too far, leaving center field open.
Rob saw them running in every direction, allowing him to get to third base. Coach waved at him and said “Stay focused.” Next in the lineup was Kid Ramsey. It was a name coach Jeff gave him because he was a scrapper and still rough around the edges. He didn’t get caught up in all the hype; he just wanted to get a piece of the ball. The further he could hit the ball and watch the other team scramble, the better he like it.
Announcer: what is going on? Ken is waving to his coach again, and sending him signals. Is Ken wanting to put the other pitcher back in? He might have had that in mind, or wanted it, but it doesn’t look like his coach is moving in that direction. It’s all up to Ken to send in the right ball. Here he is giving his coach one more glance, and his coach deciding to send a signal, causing Ken to give him a confident nod.
Kid Ramsey: Man old man, you all are acting like a bunch of loser’s. Stop stalling, and let’s play some ball.
Jeff thought, “Oh boy!” He hated it when Kid Ramsey said those things. He sent him a signal and Kid Ramsey cooled it.
Ken: All right, here you go!
Kid swung so hard he spun in a circle, but that ball went straight out of the park, and he strolled around the bases touting, “There YOU go!!!”
Announcer: Wow! I experienced some super hits on the ball in my time but that one takes the cake! It looked like a streak of lighting going across the sky.
That didn’t make the Commanders fans happy at all. They booed and booed. Rob couldn’t have been happier, but they still had the bottom of the 9th and that only gave them 1 point up. He knew this could cause them to be over confident and lose it all together. Chip grabbed Rob around the neck while shouting with glee, but Rob cautioned all of them not to be so quick to claim victory because they still had another round in the field, with some hard hitters on the other team.
Chip piped up, “You guys better be at your best!” which made them more nervous. Rob cut him down to size by saying, “Shut up Chip, you struck out!”
Chip: Ok, Ok, you’ve made your point. Gee, Rob, weren’t you talking “love” going into this game?
Rob: I still am Chip. The truth will set you free. These guys need a boost right now.
Coach Jeff: Alright I need for you guys to listen up, the Commanders know they have one chance to take this game back. Now just like they improved their game, you have to show them you have improved too. Don’t you go out there with fear in your eyes, but take your places, glove in hand, confidently. Can you do that for your team?
“Yes!” they shouted, “Yes we can!” And they truly saw they had improved and their skills shined. They went out to the field liked they owned it and showed great confidence; and this shook the Commanders up, knocking them off their game.
Three outs later, the Ambassadors won the game! It was only by one point, but it was a win! All wanted to celebrate! “Free pizza and cokes!” shouted Coach Jeff.
For Rob, now came the hard part. Somehow he had to work Chip in the middle of this celebration because he promised to talk with him; but at this point, he thought he would rather play the Commander’s again. He could see by Chips answers that he was pretty lop-sided in his thinking concerning love and relationships. Rob thought, “Wow! Where do I start?” It had been a long night already, and a few words had exchanged that were out of character for the two of them. Rob motioned to Chip.
Rob: Let’s grab our pizza, and find a corner away from the crowd to talk.
Game or no game, Rob knew that Chip wanted to spill his guts, but Rob needed to clear his head to be able to tune into the Holy Spirit and ask for his help; and for recall on what he had learned from Pastor Mike. Chip was so eager to talk he couldn’t get his butt in the seat fast enough.
Chip: Thanks for taking this time after that tough game, and I am sorry for my rude comments. Please forgive me! It bothers me when we fight!
Rob: Same here. I was pretty rude, and I am also sorry. So why don’t you just start sharing but please allow me to stop you from time to time as the Holy Spirit leads.
Chip: Ok, will do! Like I was telling you before the game, I love this girl, and I think she is the one for me. She is sensitive, funny, not to speak of her good looks and her sexy figure. I know I am rambling on and on about her, but I am going crazy here.
As Chip continued his conversation…Rob nodding as he listened to Chip re-state much of what he had already said. Chip insisted on the fact that he loved this girl more than his own soul. He knew she would be making a big mistake if she dumped him because he was a good guy and would treat her right as a husband.
Rob: Ok bud, take a breath! Wow! The Lord just told me to ask you, “Why are you wanting to drag Him into this relationship with Cindy and wanting Him to put His mark of approval on it when it is against everything that He has told you in His word?
Chip: What? Is that what I am doing?
Rob: Aren’t you doing just that? He also says you have clearly made up your mind that He does not know anything, and you know everything… and are God’s gift to women.
Wow! Rob couldn’t believe these words were coming out his mouth like a river. Rob: Now the Lord says to remind you of what happened to George’s and Kim’s marriage.
Chip sat there in shock with his mouth opened.
Rob: You do remember what happened to them?
Chip: Vaguely! I remember he met her online, because I started using online services after he said that he met her online. I thought Kim was a smart, sweet, and good looking woman; and if the online services found him her, it would work for me.
Rob: Yes, but do you remember George coming to our prayer breakfast in November saying that he was heart sick because Kim wouldn’t come to church, and she thought Christians took things too far. And she wasn’t interested in continuing their marriage? I do, because it took over the whole agenda that we had come together to share in the first place. It was a time to bounce ideas off one other, and to pray, and to talk about how we can make the coming New Year better. Also, we were excited to listen to other pastors’ ideas that attended the breakfast. You and I both complained, if you remember, because George dragged us into the mess he made; and it short changed our time together. Also, we were to discuss and pray over our church budget, church growth, and taking a fresh new look at what God called us to do as individuals. And those who have positions in the church were encouraged to look at how those positions could work more effectively. Do you also remember the pastor counseled him not to marry her because she was an unbeliever, and he quoted him the scripture II Corinthians 6:14 – Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship, hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? We know that two cannot walk together unless they agree. And he also shared I Corinthians 6:9 – Know ye not that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?
Rob: There is a clear dividing line between the righteous and the unrighteous, and we are not going to change God’s mind about this. So the truth is you are asking for something we already know that goes against his word. It is also a funny thing to me that Christians will fast and pray about things like they are going to force His hand or smooth talk Him in to making an exception for little old me or little old you.
Rob: Now he says to tell you about my marriage to Beth. We were only married a year, barely getting to know one another, when we had our first child.
Chip: Yes, but you had been going with Beth one and half years before you married. Did you not know her?
Rob: Yes, but whether you know it or not, it is altogether different when you say, “I Do.” Now you cannot get away from one another. Your concerns are her’s and vice versa. You have to learn to give and take, agreeing on things, compromising your time, juggling schedules for our children’s school and activities while keeping a balance for family, church, relatives, money problems etc. etc. Do you see where I am coming from? This is why Beth and I made the decision to go to these meetings on the Love of God. Believe me; you will need every tool in the box and more to keep your lives working. It is hard enough making it work, in God, let alone starting out with an unbeliever like Cindy. And even though Beth and I have been married for five years, we are still working out the kinks. Since we started this class, I think we are more in Love and finding out more about ourselves because we are finding the true Love of God. I Corinthians 13 and also I, II, III John will give you a great description of it. We have been more considerate of each other and more loving toward our each other, our kids, and our friends and family.
Chip: I thought I had the Love of God because I am a Christian.
Rob: Chip I can have a brand new car parked in my drive way, but if I do not take an active part in finding out how it works (because now days all the new cars require you to read the manual even to turn the headlights on and off), I am at a disadvantage, and I am not playing an active role in the use of it. You have to have an active role in the Love of God. You have to find out how He works and the requirements for Him to work, for God is Love. Beth and I are finding out it takes true love to build a relationship with Him; just like Beth and I build on our relationship.
Chip: I guess I need some classes on The Love of God before I even think about marriage.
Rob: You also better think about a girl who knows God and let Cindy go. If you are really listening and paying attention, Cindy in her own way is trying to get you to choose her over God. I believe she is playing with your emotions; especially if you’ve given into her on other things. She doesn’t want to be bothered with you asking her to go to church. Think about it Chip. Besides, you are not going to change her heart – only God can do that. That is why your heart gets broken over and over. Your hearts and desires are going in different directions. The natural human love is based on sex, lust, affections, and performance; based in the way you act or what you do for the other person. It is a very shallow love and won’t hang around if you cannot cater to their selfish motives. I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear, but I think God is being pretty straight with you. Don’t be rebellious like George, and marry Kim. You will be in the same boat a year from now, if not sooner. Even though Beth and I argue and get on the wrong side of each other, we have come to have a trust in each other and in the bond we have built; and the Love of God holds us steady. We have come to know God’s Love is the most important thing, even above our desires and needs. That He will keep us firmly together in His arms.
Chip: I have a lot to learn, and I cannot thank you enough for taking the time you have to share this with me. I guess that is true love too. I can see I have been pretty wrapped up in myself, not listening to the Lord, and not spending the time I need to with Him. I am thankful to have a friend like you Rob, a friend that will tell me the truth.
Rob: Let’s get out of here Chip.
To be continued…